STRONGER

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Saturday, July 16, 2011

its been so long since i've blogged, feelin a lil' nostalgic readin my last few posts.

i dun normally lik bloggin or keeping diaries or anythin, just a hindrance in normal daily life. I juz find that whenever i'm feelin a particular emotion very strongly, this is a good way t let it out. apart from workin out or drinking. helps me t see clearly what is it tt i really want.

conclusion of last night: we stil stay tgth for now, neither of us can date anyone else, we muz be completely honest wid each other and last of al, we muz come to a consensus when to break up. it hurts even typing tt. i've nv loved someone, so long, so hard before. i wished so hard tt i was born a guy, so tt i can be wid her and be honest wid her parents bout it. i even imagined what it wld be lik t ask for her hand from her dad. but it's nv goin t happen. i have to let her go. let her live her life.

right from the start, we agreed tt thr will be a time tt this happens. and when it does, al this will end. i promised to let her go, and i will keep my word.

i guess it wil be hard for both of us, i juz hope tt she's not feelin the pain i am feelin. isnt the sayin: if u love someone, let them go; so hurtful but i guess its true.

i'm always overcome wid jealousy whenever i see her textin the ppl chasin her. i've always needed t know tt she was completely mine. but now, i know tt she wont be soon. those hands of hers, tt i've grown so familiar to, will be in someone else's and it's breakin me apart.

i will be strong, for my own sake. i want to live a life with meaning and purpose. i know tt she wil forever hav a space in my heart tt only belongs t her, but i wil juz keep it to myself.

afterall "it's better t love and be loved than t not hav loved at all"